What Mum Looks Like On Me.

Friday, 15 June 2018

I've been following a lot of rad ladies on insta that talk about body image and positivity and it's made me realise something. Obviously, the media has really screwed up the way we think about what our bodies - this is no secret. But I guess I've had an "ah ha" moment and realised that the reason why there is this "ideal body" that we're all trying to achieve is because companies want us to feel inadequate enough that we'll buy their products, sign up to their programs, pay for their treatments in the hopes of getting closer to how we THINK we should look. And worst of all, a lot of the time these products/programs/treatments don't even work or help us get to where we think we should be. Because funnily enough, for some of us it's genetically and biologically it's impossible for some of us to look the way the media thinks we should look. And this whole "ideal" is causing eating disorders, body dysmorphia and depression. Because for some, it's unattainable. No matter how hard we try. And that's okay! Our bodies aren't supposed to look the same otherwise we'd all be born exactly the same size and shape. At birth, body diversity is celebrated so why isn't it for the rest of our lives?

The reason I'm talking about this is because I've been thinking a lot about life now as a Mum. About the changes my body has made since carrying and birthing a child. How I can't wear the clothes I used to because they're not easy to breastfeed in. That it's not practical to have my hair down or straightened because Jackson will just pull it. How I haven't worn perfume in months because I'm conscious of it being too strong for him. Life has changed, it's been completely flipped on it's head and yet, there is still this pressure to be the "super mum."

The media portrays the mum who can do it all. Who isn't letting mum life get in the way of her career. A working mum that is mumming like she hasn't got a job, and working like she hasn't got children. Who goes to the gym. Who wears a size 8/10 max. Who bounced back from her baby bod within nine months. Who meal preps, showers daily and only drinks tea and eats salads. Who gets her eyebrows done and wears make up daily. Who shows up without vomit/poo/food stains on her clothes. Whose baby only wears designer clothes. Who is part of a Mum squad that only includes other Mums who can "do it all."

And hey, there are some mums who have it down. Who prioritise how they and their babies look. Who make time in their day to look presentable because that's important to them. And that is their reality. But that isn't the ONLY mum reality. And it's not one that we should feel like we have to achieve. In fact, mine looks a lot different. See, mine includes unplucked eyebrows and an overgrown undercut. There's almost always a "mum bun" involved and my boobs are falling out of my ill-fitting maternity bra 99% of the time (if anyone has any AMAZING maternity bra suggestions for a G cup, hit me up because I am SICK of it). My clothes generally have questionable stains on them, and you'll often find me with a flannel down my bra because I can't afford to buy breast pads every week. Comfy pants are a must and I'm lucky if I can manage matching socks. 

I do manage to have a shower every morning otherwise I feel like a total mess but I know that's not everyone's priority. Some mums can't start their day without a coffee. Others want to begin their day with a home workout or a walk. For some, a rushed donut is their idea of a balanced breakfast while others are sitting down to a big bowl of porridge. And that's what I'm saying. Mum life looks different on everyone. It doesn't make anyone less or more of a Mum. It doesn't mean that the yoga mum is any better than the one whose been in PJs all day. My goodness, we all have a common goal and that is keeping our wee kiddies alive. And if we're doing that then I think we all get the Super Mama award. Every. Bloody. Day.

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