A Letter to My Husband

Thursday, 4 January 2018

Rob, thank you. Thank you for understanding me. Thank you for not expecting too much of me, only knowing that I'm doing the best I can. Thank you for letting me cry, for taking Jackson when I need a break, for kissing my forehead and telling me that I'm doing an amazing job.

I know you've always wanted to be a Dad, but to see you fully embrace your new role has been unlike anything else. And not only have you stepped up as a Dad, but as a husband as well. You've not just taken on the title of "Jackson's Put-to-Sleeper" but you also are the ultimate "Kate Calmer-Downer." I have the tendency to overthink everything, to want to do it all right and I really beat myself up when I don't feel like I'm doing a good job. But your "go with the flow" attitude has really helped ground me, especially when we're on hour FOUR of a cluster feeding session. Or he just won't settle and we can't figure out why. Turns out, that's just what babies do - but your patience helps me get through it.

You've taught me to loosen up, to remind myself that whatever I'm doing is what he needs, that what I'm doing is enough. You encourage me to laugh at the mistakes we make, at the messes he makes, at the silly moments. And to know that you feel the same as me, in terms of connecting with Jackson and it taking a bit of time makes me feel a little less alone.

For me, your support is not just physical. Yes, I really appreciate it when you take him in the middle of the night to change him and put him back to sleep. And when I need a break, I love watching you both together while you settle him. But for me, what is important is that you're here. And that I know you're not only here for Jackson, but for me too. I know a lot of solo parents struggle through it alone, and I am in awe of them because I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. I feel so lucky to be part of a team with you, and that's how I feel our parenthood will continue. We're in this together, he's OUR little boy and we've got this.

So thank you. Thank you for being exactly what I need, and the perfect Daddy for our wee man. I love you. We love you.

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